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Grief For The Loss Of My Mitya


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#1 chezza

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Posted 25 May 2015 - 05:04 PM

Do you ever fully get over the loss of these precious furry friends.
It's a Week tomorrow since Mitya left us. Been a long, hard week.

The decision was mine that the time had come but now I feel like I ended a beautiful, little life.
A little man who gave us unconditional love all the time.

I might be silly when I say I feel Mitya is sending me a message that says...
Mum, I'm okay, you did the right thing....

There's a huge empty space in our house. Both of us plus the little dog miss Mitya dreadfully.
The neighbour just came and took our dog to her house for a play. Lovely of her and our Rangi came home with a smile on his face.
Thanks again for listening,

#2 Joy

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Posted 25 May 2015 - 05:05 PM

I guess it takes time.  I am still missing my Stella so much.  Not a day goes ATM that I still cry.



#3 chezza

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Posted 25 May 2015 - 05:25 PM

Yes Joy, the tears are always so close and sometimes come at the most unexpected times.

#4 Alison D

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Posted 25 May 2015 - 05:25 PM

It takes time, and to be honest it depends on how sad you are feeling in general on the days that you miss them. Sometimes, it breaks your heart all over again. But over again, with the passing of time, you do tend to remember the happy times, and their funny little quirks, and personalities more than the sadness. Please don't second guess yourself about your decision, that will only send you batty. I don't think you are being silly I'm sure your are getting a message from Mitya telling you all is ok. Hugs to you.



#5 Analog6

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Posted 26 May 2015 - 06:55 AM

Just how we all feel when we have had to do this sad good deed for our furry friends.  I still miss all my lost ones - the ones from my childhood, and the relatively recent losses of Zoe, Fan Fan, Luvie, Marmie, Raymond - they're always in my hearty though - and I still sometimes call Yoda Raymond!



#6 cat_mioux

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Posted 26 May 2015 - 12:27 PM

I'm so sorry Chezza and Joy. Many hugs for you both. x



#7 chezza

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Posted 30 May 2015 - 09:16 AM

It's now 11 days since I made that difficult decision.

I feel Mitya keeps telling me that he's okay and that I did the right thing.
But I can't forgive myself for doing it the morning that he seemed somewhat brighter.

And, also it's hard to accept that we left him for three weeks with a granddaughter while we
Travelled when I knew he was ill. Mitya would have missed the love we always gave him as
Young people just don't do this. They haven't the time so they tell us.....work, social life etc..

One day I will heal!!

#8 catsmeow

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Posted 30 May 2015 - 11:43 AM

I went through a similar situation last year where two of my fur family went to Rainbow Bridge within the space of six weeks leaving me with one surviving kitty.  I had them since they were four weeks old and they left me at age 16 years.

 

My experience is that guilt come and goes, along with the sadness.  I try and think of those special times that I had with Widgee and P Puss and how much joy they brought to my life and how lucky I was to have them for so long.  Time really is a healer and please remember you can always come here and post.  You are never alone when you have your CW family.

 

Hugs to you xox



#9 charleycat

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Posted 08 June 2015 - 04:33 PM

It takes a long time. You'll notice we often mark the first week, first month, first year etc after we've lost a special cat. I remember posting a thread with photo after photo of Charley, I only wish I had taken more but didn't have a very good digital camera in those days. His passing too was surprisingly quick after the vet inserted the needle. I felt totally unprepared - he was just gone. And thinking about it now, six years later, I still tear up and remember laying my cheek on his soft silky fur. A year later it doesn't hurt so much and the tears are rare unless reminded.

 

Sorry to hear that Mitya has gone :(



#10 chezza

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Posted 11 June 2015 - 11:07 AM

Three weeks along I'm still wondering if I allowed the vet to send my boy to sleep too soon. Mitya had all the Renaal failure symptoms except he was forever hungry. This was strange. Vet said on the final day there was only one tooth left so obviously Mitya wasn't getting enough food into him.
Mitya was sometimes wetting outside his tray. Rarely sleeping of a day. Drinking lots. Looked hunched up and uncared for as he'd stopped grooming. Even that last morning I tried to brush him but he walked away. Very unusual as he loved his groom.
The night prior he was listless and wandering. Not settling but the next morning seemed more alert and jumped on both our chairs to sit with us. When hubby walked in front door after walking the dog Mitya jumped off my chair and went to the door to greet them. While there he kissed our dog. Did Mitya know? He tried to eat some chicken then. Then it was time for the apt to see what the vet had to say.
I told him what I've said here and he also had his history. Vet felt time was near to give Mitya release from his illness. Either now or you'll be back in a couple of weeks. Mitya, at this stage, was quite placid which wasn't normal at the vets. He'd always try to escape.
He and I cuddled. I sobbed my heart out. Hubby had to leave. If the vet said it was close we thought go ahead. But did I decide too early? This guilt is consuming me! I still remember when the end was there Mitya laid over.,actually had his back to me but then he rolled his head back and looked at me. Do all fur babies parents have this reaction? Feel like a traitor to their pet.
Did the vet just agree to get it over and done with? Have others experienced this?
Sorry to ramble on but the people on this forum are the only ones who will listen. xx

#11 russianblue

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Posted 11 June 2015 - 06:48 PM

All I can say is to be gentle with yourself. :hugs: Making the decision to say goodbye is so incredibly difficult, and fraught with so many wrenching emotions.

 

Take peace in the knowledge that Mitya is now free from pain.

 

Big hugs,

 

Karen x



#12 charleycat

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Posted 12 June 2015 - 10:43 AM

The guilt remains because we love them so much. Even when a family member dies we wonder if we did enough, if we should have visited more, called more often, intervened with their health care - done anything to make them more comfortable. Perhaps it's the price we pay for love. All we can do now is accept that they are free from suffering. Do not beat yourself up, there was nothing you could do to change the situation. If it was two more weeks, would it have been two more weeks of suffering? Would Mitya have died in pain or alone because you were out at the time?

 

Keep Mitya alive in your thoughts and your love.

 

I sorrow that I let Charley be put to sleep - he was in incredible pain and they had never found an actual cause for all his little problems. This one would have meant exploratory surgery but even the painkillers weren't taking the pain away. I feel rotten that I couldn't spare him either the pain or the dying.

 

You're a loving cat mum.






 

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