Gloria is right - it does get easier. Thank you for asking cat_mioux (it is Michelle, isn't it?), I still look for his little face when I walk into the room where his bed is. I still cry on my way home from work a little, knowing he won't be there, but it is getting better. I know there will come the time I will smile when I remember his quirky ways. Hugs to you.
Time For Beau To Cross Over To The Rainbow Bridge
Posted 08 February 2017 - 02:37 AM
Oh Joy. I also dread coming home knowing Beau won't be there. I keep wondering if Beau will come and visit me with his presence to let me know if he was happy and to let me know if I made the right decision or a very bad decision that I will never forgive myself for ...
Dear Joy I hope your heart feels better soon. I am thinking of you and Elmo and sending all my love. xx
Posted 08 February 2017 - 04:50 AM
No, you did not make a bad decision. From what you have said it was the best decision. Never, never, never think you made a bad decision. Just remember he would never have 12 wonderful years without you. xxx
Posted 08 February 2017 - 11:26 AM
I'm terrible at constantly second guessing myself. I wrote down all the reasons why I made the decision to put Beau to sleep and there are literally no reasons on the other side but still I keep second guessing myself. It's exhausting!
I hope today is just that little bit better for us both Joy
Posted 09 February 2017 - 09:48 PM
I thought my heart was shattered when I had to say goodbye to Widgee unexpectedly only to find six weeks later that I had to say goodbye to my darling P Puss. There wasn't much time to grieve as the surviving sibling Dootie was grieving badly. In a matter of six weeks he was an only cat. My little family had been with me since they were 4 weeks old. It took about 9 months and countless hours of lost sleep before Dootie finally settled. I think being able to share and talk about the loss and love of them helped me immensely.
Time was my healer and it was helped by the welcoming to my two rascals, BeeBee and Pippy.
I hope for everyone that has had a loss finds peace and a smile on their face and in their hearts.
Posted 10 February 2017 - 12:37 PM
catsmeow I'm sorry I didn't realise you had lost your two darlings Widgee and P Puss. I've been so caught up in my own pain. I think I've even missed a day somewhere. Poor little Dootie and how loving and patient you must have been to help him recover from his own grief. I'm very happy to hear about your two new rascals!
I didn't realise how much attention I gave to Beau. Pene has been coming to lay next to me and is much more relaxed. I remember if Pene lay down next to me Beau would get very jealous and sit on top of her! Pene would move away and go and sit by herself but I would be too engaged with Beau to really notice. It's only now I can be objective enough to 'see'. Beau would also sit on top of the coffee table and stare at me until I gave him all my attention and he would gently pat my arm to make me pet him. Luckily Thai has no problem with asking for attention from me but now I can see Pene has missed out on a lot over the last 12 years But I am fixing that now.
No wonder the grief hit me hard when I lost Beau. He took up a huge amount of my time and energy. That's why I felt so lost and disorientated. I miss him so much but I also have come to realise we are re-grouping now and it's time to give us much love as I can to my pretty girl Pene and my big boof Thai.
Rachelle I'm so sorry I didn't reply to your lovely post. Thank you for your kind words.
Joy I hope you are doing well today ♥
Edited by cat_mioux, 10 February 2017 - 12:37 PM.
Posted 10 February 2017 - 04:07 PM
Yes, all good. The same thing here too with Miki. I also had been devoting a lot of time to Elmo & when he'd grump at Miki I would push Miki out of his way so poor Miki has missed out too. He's making up for it now & they are very forgiving.
Posted 12 February 2017 - 01:17 AM
Thank you Cherylle.
Joy give my love to your darling kitties.
I still haven't received Beau's ashes yet. There was a delay apparently. Trying not to make a drama over it but I was expecting to have Beau "back" by now. But then I know Beau is at The Rainbow Bridge. Not in a wooden box.
Posted 12 February 2017 - 04:32 AM
Thanks Cherylle. It's been a pretty tough time.
Beau will be back with you soon xx
Posted 14 February 2017 - 09:49 AM
MY deepest condolences on the loss of Beau - I know how hard it is. We have Zafira who is about 20, and we know the day will come sooner rather than later. It gets better, as you say, in the future you will be able to recall the good times and bless the time you had with him. Twelve years that weren't meant to be is pretty darned good! Hugs
Posted 16 February 2017 - 12:05 PM
Thank you Odille for your kind words. I have received Beau's ashes back and when I went to pick him up the vet nurse beckoned me into the 'back' to cuddle some new kittens they have. That was wonderful!
I have Beau's little wooden box surrounded by family photo's and I do admit I "talk" to him as I walk past, and say goodbye to all three kitties when I leave the house.
Odille please give Zafira a gentle cuddle from me. I can honestly say that I don't regret not cuddling Beau enough because now, without the pain of raw grief, I remember petting and soothing Beau every day.
Joy how are you today? ♥
Posted 16 February 2017 - 04:39 PM
Every day becomes easier, although I was showing some-one little Elmo's photos last night & cracked a bit, but I still expect that to happen..
Hugs to you. I am so glad Beau is home where he belongs. It's nice that he is there & you can talk with him
Posted 17 February 2017 - 06:21 AM
I often talk to our ones who have passed on. Naturally, we couldn't bring the remains with us, as we'd buried them in the garden, but we have a 'memory rock' in the garden here and I often talk with the kids, especially Raymond who is buried here, when I am in the garden. I find it comforting.
Zaffie came to me for a big cuddle and rub up last night - she won't be held or sit in your lap, but our armchairs have side enough arms for her to stand ion and she loves to rub against you and talk loudly and have her tail (very gently) pulled. Such a dear funny girl. She goes back to the vet today for the final check up after her dental last month.