[Cisco's Mom]

[/font][/color][/size]
IN MEMORY OF MY BEST FRIEND, CISCO

[color="#000000"][size="2"][font="Verdana"]
My dearest, little friend, Cisco, passed away today, 31.07.2009, aged 10. Myself and my children have been left absolutely devestated by his passing and the loss that we feel is so raw and painful.

I have unfortunately been left with so many questions. Cisco suddenly took ill last week Saturday. He was a strapping, large cat, full of boundless energy and full of personality. He had his breakfast, as usual, and headed outdoors. He would normally come and go, hang around the garden mostly, but he wasn't seen for the whole of Saturday. At approximately 5.15pm, I spotted him walking, in a frail-like manner, near our garden pond. I called him and he didn't respond, instead walked away from the house. My son ran outside to the garden to go and find him, but unfortunately stumbled upon him, near-unconscious, on the garden path. When I got to him, I thought we'd lost him. He was barely breathing, but was breathing very poorly. He had no apparent external injuries or any telltale signs for me to go on. I immediately pick him up in my arms and ran inside to call the vet, who met us at the surgery within 30 minutes.

Upon examination, I was informed that he had suffered a severe asthma attack and would be admitted, placed on oxygen and given steroids intravenously. There appeared, on listening to his chest, to be fluid on his lungs. Three hours later, I was telephoned and told he was almost 100% back to normal and that I could come and collect him. He was discharged with steroid (Prednisolone) tablets. Within 4.5 hours of discharge, I became concerned with his breathing, which again was forced and laboured. As it was the early hours of the morning, I administered a steroid tablet and waited till daylight, before telephoning the vet at 7.45am on Sunday morning. We again met the vet 30 minutes later and Cisco was again admitted. I heard from the vet later that afternoon that although Cisco was more comfortable and breathing better, they wanted to keep him in overnight for further observation and to do a chest xray on the Monday.

Monday afternoon, I telephoned the vet and was told that there was fluid on his lungs, that he was possibly anaemic, but that he was stable and could return home for further recuperation on steroids and water tablets. Cisco had a very uncomfortable night on Monday, with Tuesday not bring any better. His breathing was very poor on Tuesday night, yet I continued to nurse him, crying the whole time, praying that he should return to good health. I had decided that if he did not show any signs of improvement by Wednesday daybreak, I would return to the vet, yet, on Wednesday morning, he showed vast signs of improvement: was walking around a little, although noticeably slowly, he had to keep resting. He never left my bedroom. He was eating small amounts, frequently, and we were giving him water every half-hour or so. By Wednesday afternoon, he was far more perky and was showing definite signs of improvement. Thursday, again, he showed good signs of improvement: in fact, he jumped off the bed and ran downstairs, by the time we caught up with him, he was halfway down the garden path. We spent around 2 hours in the morning and 2 hours in the afternoon with him in the garden and he was almost back to his old self - rolling in the sunshine, meowing, purring, talking to us and responding to everything.

Thursday night was uneventful, though he appeared a little more tired. Friday morning, he refused to eat or drink and was very down and flat, showing signs of breathing distress. He was taken to the vet first thing on Friday morning, as planned, for further chest xrays, however, by the time we got to the vet, he had deterioted so much... he was clearly in distress. They readmitted him and I was sent home, told they would call at lunchtime.

Well, I received the call at lunchtime saying that he was very weak and very ill. They had re-xrayed and there was a large amount of fluid on his lungs and in front of his heart. They were uncertain as to what had caused his illness, but that he was severely dehydrated and having a hard time breathing - they thought that the most likely cause was now a tumour 'somewhere'. I asked what could be done for him and was told that it would be kinder to euthanase him as he was in bad shape. I asked if he was comfortable enough for them to wait the 20 minutes for me to get there to be with him and to say my goodbyes and I was told no, he was battling to breathe, so under the circumstances, I asked them to go ahead.

We collected Cisco around 2 hours after he'd passed away and brought him home to say our goodbyes and to bury him in our garden. We have planted some Cat Mint on the 'head' of his grave with a rose bush 'Simply The Best', full of beautiful sunshine yellow and peach coloured roses. He was buried wrapped in a white cotton sheet, his head resting on his favourite stuffed toy dog (he used to go to sleep on this dog all the time). A photograph of himself, together with his two siblings was also buried with him, together with an incense stick - one of his favourite passtimes was to chase the incense stick all around the lounge - a ritual he'd followed since he was a little kitten.

The past week has been very traumatic for us all and a rollercoaster ride of emotions; from not knowing one minute if we'd lose him, to allowing us to see a glimmer of hope another minute, to resigning ourselves to the fact that he was gravely ill and would not make it through the night to seeing another glimmer of hope... and to finally receiving the news that we couldn't even say our precious goodbyes to one another.

I guess I write this to share our experience with you all. I recognise that veterinarians have a hard time sometimes, however, I do feel that things could have been managed better. I do feel a confirmed diagnosis should have been obtained within the first 24 hours in order for Cisco and ourselves to have at least been given a choice as to the course of treatment we would have liked to have followed. After a week of intensively nursing our beloved friend to suddenly being faced with losing him, without saying any final goodbye or without spending his final moments with him, has been agonising, in addition to the torment I feel that had I been given a different diagnosis from the beginning, I may have chosen to act differently and therefore to not have put my little friend through a week of further (possible) pain and anguish.

I don't understand what went wrong or why my friend died, after suddenly becoming ill, having shown no signs of being ill prior to this episode. I still feel whatever his illness was, was due to trauma of some sort, rather than an underlying medical condition but now will never know.

May his blessed soul rest in peace, we miss him dearly and have found today unbearably painful. Everywhere we walk, everywhere we look, everywhere we sit, we can see him. We hope, in time, that the fond memories of Cisco and his life he so lovingly shared with us, will no longer bring us to cry tears of sadness, but to smile and laugh as we recall the joys of his living.

We will always love Cisco, he was such a huge part of our lives.

[Heather Sharada]

Oh dear I am so sorry - I can tell from your story of Cisco's last week how much he meant to you and how devastated you must feel at his loss. I guess that like humans diagnosis can't always be absolute and mis-diagnosis can always happen but you and your vets did all that you could given the cirumstances. I am very very sorry you did not get to say good bye personally but you know that cats are psychic and I bet he picked up on your thoughts.

Your tribute to him and the respect shown to his body was also a reflection of how much he was loved.

R.I.P. Cisco.......flying free now and lots of huggs to those who loved you and miss you now.

[CatsRU]

Oh I am so sorry for the loss of your best friend Cisco.

My FE died from asthma - he was a big strong 7.5 kgs cat and although he was diagnosed with asthma, only need medication on a needs basis. We had no warning and when he was having difficulty breathing one afternoon we took him to the vets and he died overnight from heart failure - I do know and understand your pain.

I am not hijacking your thread but just to let you know that a lot of us have gone through the same horrible experience and share your pain.

You have written a lovely tribute to your best friend and he will be waiting at the Rainbow Bridge for you.

Heaps of hugs.

[MATILDA'S MOM]

i am so very sorry for the loss of your dear Cisco. Reading this has brought tears to my eyes as i know too well the feeling of such a loss. My Isabella died 3 years ago and was only 7. I really feel for you and your family and wish you peace one day. I found writing in a journal sort of to her helped a bit. My kids were 2 and 4 at the time and it was a chore just to function with such sadness let alone keep my chin up for the kids. We too felt we heard or saw her for some time too. I really hope that it was her =she was great =as it really sounds your Cisco was a greatly loved member of your family too. Such a sad sad loss. Hugs to you and your children-take one day at a time-it will get better although I know it seems utterly impossible right now. I also went to the library and got books on animals passing over and really liked the message of it is not goodbye forever just until we meet again. Wishing you a better day tomarrow and the next.....

[kirty]

I'm very sorry for your loss. RIP Cisco.

[Xenacatte]

I am so sorry that you and your family have lost so suddenly your beautiful Cisco-losing a love precious one so suddenly is so traumatic and gut wrenching. Sending my deepest condolences to you and your family.

Dear sweet little Cisco rest in peace on the Rainbow Bridge now.
Chris

[Winscar]

Ohh this is soo touching. What a beautiful tribute to your beloved friend.
The pain we feel when we lose them is unbearable as I too know.

When I get overwhelmed at times thinking about my Oscar and my darling Winnie I take a deep breath and say these words ......

Dont cry because its over ..... Smile because it happened

RIP sweet Cisco run free at Rainbow Bridge free of pain

[Satchmo]

Sorry to hear of the sad loss of your beloved Cisco. You did all you could and I am sure he knew you loved him and cared for him as you have written a beautiful tribute to your special friend. Take care.

[Cisco's Mom]

Heather Sharada, thank you for your kind words. On reflection, I don't think either the vet or myself would have acted any different; where this is hope, there is life! Cisco was a strong cat, both physically, spiritually and mentally and he tried oh, so hard to fight the battle to the end. We spent a beautiful day together on Thursday and he appeared to have enjoyed being outdoors with us again. He made us laugh and made us smile and it will be that memory, along with our other happy memories, that will move us forward.

This is a wonderful site, I am so thankful to have stumbled across it.

Tanya / Cisco's Mom

[Cisco's Mom]

CatsRU, thank you for sharing your own experience of losing your kitty to asthma. I guess I feel frustrated for not having known exactly what was wrong with him in order to respond appropriately. I am so sorry you too had to lose your cat under such circumstances. One feels pathetically helpless and so sorry for the little kitty concerned. I just don't understand how my strongest, loveliest cat could go from 100% health one day to where he ended up. It was all just too sudden. Being here and hearing from all these lovely people, such as yourself, has helped me tremendously. Thank you.

[Cisco's Mom]

Matilda's Mom, thank you. I am sorry you too have lost Isabella, it is so terribly gut-wrenching. Cisco has two siblings, San (boy) and Fran (girl), which in some ways is comforting, but is also a constant reminder of my dear heart. In time, I am sure, we will adapt. Fran follows me every time I go out in to the garden to visit Cisco's grave - she did not see him dead, though I suspect she senses it. Having planted Cat Mint on his grave, I guess will also encourage his siblings to pay regular visits!! Thanks for your comforting words, it is much appreciated.

[Cisco's Mom]

Satchmo, Winscar, Xenacatte and Kirty - thank you all so much for your kind words and comforting thoughts. I do look forward to again meeting my Cisco at the Rainbow.

With much gratitude.

[Winscar]

As I read your words I too felt like Thursday spent in the garden as sweet Cisco rolling around was his way of saying to you that his time was near.

I think he wanted you to have that special time and remember the lovely day you shared together.

Our furballs are wise old souls.

[Cisco's Mom]

As I read your words I too felt like Thursday spent in the garden as sweet Cisco rolling around was his way of saying to you that his time was near.

I think he wanted you to have that special time and remember the lovely day you shared together.

Our furballs are wise old souls.

Winscar, you are so right, our gracious friends are superbly intelligent. He used ALL his remaining strength to spend those hours with us in the way in which we used to always spend our time together. It is comforting to remember Thursday in this way. A funny thing happened yesterday evening as I sat with one of my sons at his grave. Fran, our little girl, who has always been of timid nature following a traumatic fox attack on her when she was around 6 month's old, sat quietly at the head of his grave, then crouched down and pounced in to the undergrowth to triumphantly come out with a little mouse in her mouth. We smiled through our tears and congratulated her on her huge feat and then kindly removed the little mouse to release it back in to the undergrowth. Just the week before Cisco died, he brought us another of his daily presents: a large mouse! He was forever bringing us little presents. We feel little Franny is coming in to her own now.

Yes, they are wise, old souls.

[Avalon]

Tanya
We are all so sorry and sad for your loss, your beautiful baby is at peace now and no longer in pain. We too had a similar incident when we lost our Tiffany as she had a tumor in her chest which they believe caused the fluid build up but did not warn us what would happen and it was just awful. So I feel your pain and sorrow. Cisco was loved uncondionally and loved you and your family. Sometimes no matter what we do we cannot predict the out come

Hugs and kisses flying your way

Rest in peace sweet darling Cisco and fly high on Gossimer Wings, play in the sun, run fast and chase those butterflies. Your mum will always love you and
Tanya Cisco will be waiting and looking over you with love in his heart.

Sorry I am so sad as it breaks my heart and I find I am crying for you. So my prayers are being sent to ease your broken heart and your pain and my the days get easier but the memories stay strong

XXXXXX
Cherie