[Stef&Noel]

Hi Everyone,

I was just wondering if anyone has any suggestions and could help me out with our new addition. My husband (who was very much against adopting a cat) finally agreed and we now have a 4 year old Devon. She has been with us for 3 weeks as of yesterday and to date, she really doesn't want much to do with me.

I know she is still adjusting and she has spent most of her time under our bed which I have also been told is normal, (I have never adopted an adult before and always raised my cats from kittens) and I am aware it will take time for her to adapt, but I am wondering how much time?

Also there is one thing that is obvious and that is that she is in love, big time with my husband! (a bit ironic we know as I am the one who so desperately wanted a cat!) And he is eating it up and she is now his bestfreind.

I have tried everything from just sitting by her each night, (or as close as I can get), to speaking lovingly and sweetly to reassure her I am not the enemy and she has yet to really let me cuddle her or do anything more than a quick pet. (it's a bit odd since I have had cats all my life and they usually love me!!)

Each night she sleep with my hubby right on him or as close as she can get and she won't come out from under the bed until she hears his voice when he comes home from work each night. (it doesn't matter if I am home an hour or all day).

I am just wondering how long you all think it will take before she actually WANTS to be around me?

I can be patient and will do whatever it takes.

Thanks for your time and sorry this was so long.
Stef

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[Heather Sharada]

Stef I think all cats are different but I think she has chosen your husband and that is that.....you feed her I guess and play with her when he is not around? I don't know that much about Devons really but she should be settling by now I would have thought....hope some one with Devons comes along soon to advise you.

Can you get her out from under the bed and insist that she spend time with you - play etc.....maybe find a treat when hubby is not around.....otherwise I can't think of anything to help ???? BUT I can wish you good luck or maybe buy your own kitten and don't let hubby near it.

[fleabag]

You need to spend special time with her while he's not there ..grooming patting feeding treats etc...but you MAY need to get a man hating cat for yourself ...grin

[Monty74]

My oldest girl used to be my best friend, but she ditched me when we bought her a playmate...go figure....and has been my Husbands cat for ages, only in the last 12months has she decided that I am worthy again.....

[CatsRU]

Stef, I have two furkids - moggies - and Henry is only in love with OH - he fawns for attention from him and is not interested in me at all - same situation but fortunately little Priscilla loves me and also OH but mainly me!! Thank God.

I think you just have to have patience and let her come to you. If she is under the bed and you are home, try playing with her using a toy like a stick and string with feathers on the end - just flick it under the bed and draw it out so as to entice her to play.

Good luck.

[Stef&Noel]

I was actually thinking the same thing. I may need to adopt another one for me now!
I guess I'm also just a tad jealous since they have bonded and I have been wantind a cat for so long.

I will try to get her out and spend even more time with her.

Thanks!

[Doreen]

Welcome to the CW Lonely Heart's Club lol... my dear little Mitsi is nearly 10, I have had her since she was 10 weeks old, and have done EVERYTHING for her... and she just loves my DH. But actually, I know she loves me, she does follow me everywhere when DH is not home, so I think you have to persevere with your little one, play with her, let her know that you are actually not a bad distraction when the love of her life is not home. It seems that girls go for men, and boys for women - not always, but I know my next cat will be male...

[Pussy Willow]

Maybe your trying too hard...Try backing off for a while and see if that helps. You know the saying "A girl always wants what she can't have"

[Stef&Noel]

Yes, I could do try just chill and be relaxed about it, but it's so hard when I just want to pick her up for a cuddle!

[fleabag]

Yes, I could do try just chill and be relaxed about it, but it's so hard when I just want to pick her up for a cuddle!

And don't look at her...sit on the lounge with hmmm maybe a cat toy..and really play with enthusiasm ..only glance at her ..ignore her if you can ...lol

This post has been edited by fleabag: 20 May 2008 - 07:40 PM

[Sobriquet]

What Fleabag says about not looking at her is important. Squint your eyes if you look at her, it is the cat smile! If she squints back you are just having to bide your time and she will come around at least a little.

Cats are threatened by stares, or wide excited eyes. Was she raised by a man?

[Trifon]

Devons by nature are very confident, self-assured cats and by nature love people and other animals. I am surprised that she is still hiding under the bed after 3 weeks.

During the day move her into the laundry (or another small room) where she has no bed to hide underneath. Give her somewhere cosy to sleep, but you will be able to go in and see her and over time, get closer to her.

I had a devon that hated my young son so I rehomed him after 3 years of trying to get him to adjust. Noah went off to live with a lovely family (and is very happy). The lady got him for her 12 yo son but Noah had different ideas. He chose the lady (which she was thrilled about really). I always believe the cat chooses the person who will belong to them. I just think this kitty has chosen your hubby. Easy fix though, get another kitty for you . And maybe another kitty would give this little girl more confidence?

[Sobriquet]

I was thinking the same thing! Get you own.

[Cher]

play hard to get and send your OH away for a little while.....to establish a connection...might help.

I know its sad for you looking for that really special companion who your hubby didn't want but another is always a good plan............

[miamber2002]

Stef, one thing, is she spayed? If shes not that could explain a bit of the attraction........Another, Devons from what I understand need to keep warm, as they don't have much coat, men are warmer than women, my Burmese always love my hubby more than me, at night time, as he keeps them warmer than I can.
Miamber

Each night she sleep with my hubby right on him or as close as she can get and she won't come out from under the bed until she hears his voice when he comes home from work each night. (it doesn't matter if I am home an hour or all day).

Stef